Humble pie in the face

Almost every day for the past couple of months I've come to a point where I find myself COMPLETELY peeved at work. You know why?

Because I basically work 8-7 everyday and for a lot of those hours I'm sitting on a computer taking care of bidniss. For the last 4 hours of it I am pretty much stuck inside a small room with a computer and a lot of my time is spent mindlessly figuring out stuff to do on the computer whilst kids are rattling away in the studio room.

Yesterday I felt like I was rotting in my swivel chair. Every minute I spent sitting at work I got more irritable. Every kid that came in turned into a pest no matter what they did. I let it get to me.

I kept saying over and over " I can't SIT here any more! I'm so sick of just SITTING here!"

When the clock struck 7 I was out the door. I hopped on my beach cruiser and started off on my ride home in the warm Santa Monica air and about halfway I was stopped in my grouchy tracks when to my right I saw a man completely paralyzed in a wheelchair.. it looked like he probably had a severe case of Cerebral Palsy, which, if you haven't been around it is pretty much limited to...this:

I smiled at him passing by on my bike, but right after that my heart sunk into my chest. I immediately began apologizing to the God I basically told wasn't sufficient for me to find joy at work...I spent the rest of the ride silent and humbled. I moved my neck around, rotated my wrists..kicked my legs out one by one and started singing a song of thanks.

What a jerk I can be. Again and again I forget what a gift it is to move. To have life. I by no means believe that those with severe disabilities don't have LIFE or the capacity for it but, damn.. Complaining for hours over having to sit for really what is a short time daily then passing by a man who sits in a chair ALL THE TIME, without a choice ON MY BICYCLE was nothing short of a wakeup call.

I am blessed . I am blessed. I am BLESSED.

I remember one time I was at a Young Life camp up in British Columbia and there was this other 20-something leader there who was just.. CRAZY! I mean, he was such a total spaz- jumping at every opportunity he had to do something absolutely bananas. Kids loved him, some were confused by his constant enthusiasm... It was almost exhausting watching him live so loud.

Stricken by his energy, I took a moment with him one day to ask him what his deal was. I asked:

" So dude, You are totally nuts. I love it. Have you always been so uh, excited?"

He, with a dead seriousness in his eyes, replied-

" No. I used to have a pretty normal existence but then one morning I woke up and was paralyzed from the neck down. I couldn't move. I couldn't even get out of bed... I was terrified and it was completely random. Doctors were baffled. But the next day I woke up and I had all my ability back. It was a strange miracle... but from that moment on I haven't wasted a SECOND of my life or energy. I want to use my body to move and to dance and to be crazy because... for a moment I lost it.. and now I appreciate it. "

After we all picked up our jaws from their places on the floor we thanked him for his story and welled up with inspiration. From that moment on nobody scoffed at his wacky ways. Instead we were reminded by him to appreciate whatever abilities we had and to live like we meant it.

Yesterday's moment reminded me of that guy's story... and again reminded me that... my bad aint so bad.

Well friends, I'm off for a RUN. And I'm excited.